An Answer to the Call of the Wild Woman

I can stand what I see. 

When the madman staggers toward me in the cold moonlight
When the woman with one leg and a sad dog holds a sign, begging
And the raving stranger curses me as I pass by,
I can stand what I see. 

When the tidal wave swallows whole cities
And carelessness corrupts the noble grasses of the highway with discarded convenience
And the smog of our choices hangs in the horizon of our eyes
I can stand what I see.

When the rubble of my shadow
spills over in cluttered closets
and dirty laundry
and dishes piled in sludgy water
that no one wants to clean
because no one else is here
but me,
I can stand what I see.

When books unfinished
mock me on the shelves,
and a gift sits untouched,
and the manuscript gathers the dust of my fear,
I can stand what I see. 

As my mothers hair turns gray
and her bones soften
As my father grumbles in despair
and the clock keeps ticking
I can stand what I see.

As my love laughs with another
and prefers her smooth skin
and gives her my dreams,
As my friend turns her back to me
for our remaining time here
and I read another chapter’s end,
I can stand what I see.

When the sky goes dark
And the rain turns cold
And the thunder leaps from gentle
to the cracking whip of God
I can stand what I see 

When my limbs begin to ache from lifetimes past
And the ghosts come back to haunt me
And the messages come as a shudder in the pit of my soul
I can stand what I see

When the child dies
When the neighbor shrieks
When the person behind me stands too close
When there are footsteps outside my window
When I lose everything.. 

The roadkill I pass
The cockroach that lands
The broken relic
The burning sanctuary
The open sore
The sense of annihilation

The witch hunt
The dried garden
The grey smattered chaos of the void
The unbeatable pattern returning again
The terrorism,
The frayed psyche,
The lost mind
The dementia
The ravenous hunger
The rancid stench
that everything becomes
And comes from..

I can stand it
I can face it
I move towards it. 

My face remains calm
Because I am it. 

And then, I see me.

The freckles appearing like a galaxy
The transparent skin hanging heavier
The new lines
The dimpled flesh
The chipped teeth
The crooked smile
The stray hair
The lonely body
The unconquerable softness

And the simmering fury like lava beneath it all
The beasts that lie sleeping within
The wildfire heart that is too much for some,
not enough for others.
The hoarding sentimental nature
The great courage beside the great fear
The impossible beauty

The little girl. 
The fertile maiden. 
The woman who is already dead. 

I stand what I see. 
I love what I see.